Jack Bauer facts

Tonight, I should be watching the fifth episode of the seventh season of 24. I should be eagerly anticipating what armageddon Jack Bauer and company are working to thwart. Instead, I'm just wondering when this writer's strike will end. Maybe Jack Bauer should be the mediator. Here are eleven facts about Jack Bauer that you may not know.

1. Jack Bauer shaves with a chainsaw.
2. Jack Bauer doesn't kill terrorists. The terrorists actually die from fear of being killed by Jack Bauer.
3. When Jack Bauer requested a cookie in kindergarten, his teacher told him no and laughed. Jack replied by saying, "Look lady, I have crushed three rib cages since recess, rigged the fire alarm to go off right before the spelling test and stolen a total of $7.50 in lunch money. So maybe you should be a little more scared of the situation you're in and just give me a cookie."
   
4. Jack Bauer's cellphone battery died twelve years ago. It has run on pure adrenaline since.
5. Jack Bauer is a vegetarian, not because his dislikes meat, but because he hates vegetables.
6. Jack Bauer once lost his keys. He then spent half an hour torturing himself until he gave up the location of the keys.
7. Killing Jack Bauer doesn't make him dead, it just makes him angry.
8. Jack Bauer doesn't miss. If he doesn't hit you, it's because he was aiming at a terrorist twelve miles away.
9. Jack Bauer was not addicted to heroin. Heroin was addicted to Jack Bauer.
10. If you get 7 stars on your wanted level on Grand Theft Auto, Jack Bauer comes after you. You don't want to get 7 stars.
11. Let's get one thing straight. The only reason you are conscious right now is because Jack Bauer does not feel like carrying you.

Here's to hoping the strike ends soon so Jack can get back to thumping baddies. Thanks for joining me for post #5 on the Bloglish Blog. Tune in again soon for more random thoughts.

(By the way, I didn't write these. I don't know who did, but it wasn't me, I'm just sharing.)